Deborah Drezon Carroll, Author

          


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Enjoy the introduction...


RAISING AMAZING CHILDREN

(… WHILE HAVING A LIFE OF YOUR OWN)

 

Introduction: Learn Every Day

 

Being a great parent is easier and more fun than you think. If you are a new parent, you may be worried (or perhaps even scared to death!) because you have no training in this arena. But, in fact, you do. You already possess the skills you will need to raise amazing kids. You made it through your life up to this point, so you have life experience. That will take you far when it comes to dealing with your kids. You will draw on that -- on every experience that brought you to where you are now – to raise children who are happy, healthy, responsible, morally sound, and, yes – amazing. And, you’ll be able to do it while maintaining the integrity of your own life.

 

This book is about parenting and how you can be great at it and enjoy it without sacrificing your own life. If you think that being a parent means the end of spontaneity and fun and that you will never again have an uninterrupted conversation, this book is for you. You can teach your children many things and still maintain your own life. If, like many parents, you have no time to call your own and certainly not enough time to read a whole book on parenting, this book is the answer as you can read it little by little in the snippets of time you do get to call your own. The lessons will stick with you, no matter how long it takes you to read the whole book. You’ll benefit just from reading the one paragraph that follows, especially its last sentence:

 

Live your life, enjoy it, and invite your child to share it with you. Don’t worry so much. Your kids will be fine. You learn something every day. Your kids will too. They learn about life from living it with you so that they can go on to live successfully after they leave you. The parent’s job is done well when the child grows up and can leave happily. All you have to remember is to be the kind of parent you wanted to have and the kind of person you want your child to be.

 

By taking the time to involve your children in your everyday life you avoid problems with them later. Your communication with them will be more effective. When the time finally comes to let your children go, you will be able to do so knowing that they are self-reliant and self-confident adults.

This book will show you how you can make the most of each busy day to teach your child lessons about life. These methods will serve you well with young children and even with teenagers. Those adolescent years can be especially difficult for parents and the suggestions in this book will provide you with objective ways to communicate with your teenager while teaching him valuable skills. Finding ways to seize moments to teach your child will enable you to experience more of life with her. Just as you want to see your child's first steps and hear her first word, you'll want to be there when your child learns about life. If you are working with her often, the likelihood is that you will be able to share momentous events with her. There is no substitute for spending time with your child and given everybody's busy schedule it's more important than ever to find way to spend time together. What could be easier than spending time living everyday life together?

 

My mother always said, "You learn something every day." I used to ignore the expression but now, as with many things I heard come from my mother's mouth, I find myself saying it all the time. You do learn something every day. So does your child. Life teaches your child something each day. Sometimes you are the teacher and sometimes your child learns from someone or something else. But every day your child learns something. Most days he learns many things.

 

Parents are the most important teachers their children will ever have. Are you thinking, "Oh no! Not another thing I have to do in order to be a good parent"? Take it easy. Teaching while parenting is not about taking time out of every day to impart great wisdom. Quite the opposite, the whole idea is to continue living just as you are and invite your kids to participate in your life.

The attitude you teach with is very important. A noted dog obedience trainer says that one should never strike a dog, or yell at a dog, or teach a dog anything using negativity as a tool. Dogs, he says, should only be taught with love. Love in your voice and love in your touch is the way you communicate and instruct your pet how to behave. While I am certainly reluctant to compare dogs to children, this philosophy works and succeeds in creating productive interactions between parents and children. This is very sound advice where kids are concerned.