How To Have More Love in Your Life

My last post was about a friend who is dying. I didn’t mention he was once a successful author of nonfiction. His second self help book was about finding ways to have more love in your life. It’s a simple concept, perhaps, but struck me as somewhat revolutionary. With Valentine’s Day approaching, it came to mind because it was not about finding “true love” or the right mate, it was about the other loves you can surround yourself with if romantic love is currently not part of your life.

Love reaches well beyond romance. While I am fortunate enough to have romantic love, I am blessed to have other forms of love in my life. There’s the love of children and grandchildren and while those may be an outgrowth of romance, the love involved is entirely different. There’s the love of friends, which is formidable and important to me as I am estranged from all siblings so in many ways my friends’ love is very much like familial love. (Only better as my friends have never taken me to court!) I’ve felt love from pets and from the satisfaction from the work I’ve done. I’ve felt love from the volunteering I used to do when I delivered meals to people in need. I’ve had moments that feel like love from just being out in nature, watching the magic of butterflies in flight or flowers in bloom. If I’m enraptured with a work of art or fine art, that is a form of love.


Even now, the connections I have with other writers and bloggers on good days feels very much like a type of love. The point is this: you can go out into the world and seek love. You can put actions out there into the universe which are highly likely to bring love back to you. No one has to be alone and unloved. You may have to reconfigure your concept of love but you never have to accept a life without love.

I thought it was kind of brilliant of my friend to have explored this concept of the boundlessness of love. I’m sure he didn’t invent that wheel, but he gave it a whirl to help others. That too, is a form of love. If you are a writer, you already knew that, didn’t you?

Happy day of celebrating all kinds of love. I’m not sure they make a greeting card that says that, but they should. If you have someone in your life with whom you share a non-romantic love, send them this column and say, “Thanks for the love. Happy Valentine’s Day.”




6 Responses to “How To Have More Love in Your Life

  • Love is the spark and unbridled joy of being alive..without judgement…it is a state of being , just being…not wanting , not seeking…just being and enjoying something new , fresh and alive in each moment…It is looking deeply into another’s eyes and seeing ourselves…it is watching the waves crash on the beach , feeling the wind blowing your hair and the coarse sand beneath your feet…it is being still , knowing we are part of something exquisite…

    • Your comment is perfection. I sent my daughters Valentines, a holdover from something we’ve done since they were babies and, although they’re grown, we saw no reason to stop. I send blank cards and write a note or choose a poem. This year I chose two ee cummings pieces. If I had your post, I’d have used that. Next year….

  • Well said Deb. This is a perfect post for the Valentine season. 🙂 Wishing you a happy one.

  • You are so right, Debby. There’s no need to live without love, even if your family is dysfunctional. LOVE-ly post!

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